Overall, yesterday was a great day. B’s birthday was a little stressful but went off without a hitch (am I using that cliche correctly?). The only problem was that I spent the better part of five hours with Her. I suspected it was going to affect me negatively. I presume it did. I tried to stay mindful and present. It was hard.
She looked great. I still find Her attractive. And then I think about everything that happened, and I get angry and resentful. Why did she have to do that? Why do people change? Why did she have to be so selfish? Human beings are inherently selfish. I know that. I am selfish too. My wanting things to go back to the way they were is selfishly motivated. The bottom line is she doesn’t want me anymore. She decided that a year and a half ago. Why is it so hard to get over?
B had a good time. That’s the most important thing. One good thing that came out of yesterday was seeing a neighbor. I chatted with her about Naughty Week. She’s going to try and help me promote it through her work. That would be absolutely incredible. That could be huge for the book.
I left the party at 3:00. I couldn’t stay longer. Another neighbor friend showed up with his daughter, and it would have been nice to visit, but I needed to get out of there. It was too much. I headed home to regroup. There was another birthday thing I had to get to, and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I shifted my mindset. It was like I made a choice. I changed into some clothes for cooler weather. I walked over to Kyochon and picked up some chicken, then took a Lyft up to Silverlake. My friend was ready to go. She had baked a banana chocolate cake. It was nice to see her. We drove up to the park and set up. Her friends came. I met a few new people. They were all very nice. We drank wine, ate cheese and crackers and chicken, and had cake. It got dark, and everyone went their separate ways.
